Imagine a 5000 piece puzzle of a clear sky with no picture to reference to help putting it all together. Where would you start? Same thing with figuring out our emotions, right? How do we piece it all together and feel happy and satisfed? What if you knew that it was really just a four piece puzzle?
The Science of our Emotions is that simple. A yacht broker I used to work with would call concepts like this “butt simple.”
Piece One: We live in a Dualistic world. That means you have only two choices. For instance: good enough or not good enough; abundant or deprived; in charge or out of control. This either/or choice makes deciding what to do next simple.[pullquote]
“I spoke to Marty after a traumatic experience and she was able to give me a simple process (the above) that calmed me right down and helped me get a clear picture of where my stressed emotions were coming from. Wow, what a relief! Marty cuts to the chase. Just what I needed at that moment.”
Piece Two: Your subconscious mind drives the bus rather than your conscious mind. How you REALLY feel about yourself is what you are creating in your life. Your conscious mind (frontal lobe, front of brain) can tell you anything, “I am successful. I am rich. I have a red BMW,” but if you believe that you don’t deserve a new car, aren’t worthy of wealth and a luxurious life, (subconscious mind) guess what? A thousand affirmations later, you will still be poor. To be successful….you must be successful. Convinced of your value and what you have to offer the world equals prosperity. Insecurity about what you have to offer and doubting that wealth is possible gives you the same set of circumstances you have right now.
Piece Three: Become a treasure hunter. Look within and unlock the golden nuggets of who you are. TAG yourself. ™ What Ability to do have that just comes naturally? As a kid you either excelled at it, or got in trouble for it. That is your Ability. How do you demonstrate that Ability ? Are you a Talented singer, artist, mechanic, geek, organizer, finance whiz? How do you share your Talent and Ability with the world? Do you perform, teach, rebuild cars, design computer boards, de-clutter hoarders, save on taxes? Unlock that rusted-shut treasure box, spray some WD40 on the hinges and pull out those nuggets of who you are and give yourself a chance to win at life. This is your Gift.
Either you will expand your inner resources by discovering more of what you have to offer for your own success, or a year from now you will still be as unhappy as you are today.
Piece Four: Emotional Fitness. You have been lied to all your life. All the drama and gnashing of teeth and thinking that you were broken and needed to be fixed was BIG FAT LIE.
You are not broken. You have nothing to fix, just you to discover.
Here is the TRUTH:
1. Feelings are E–Motion, energy is motion.
2. Feelings are the best information you will ever receive. They are your best friend on steroids.
3. By connecting to your feelings, you will be able to manage your emotions and turn negative feelings into empowered action in the moment.
Here is the ACTION:
- Take three deep breaths to settle your self down and allow how you are feeling to emerge.
- What feeling bubbled up? Not good enough? Insecure? Angry? Sad? Lonely? That is information that you can use to know what to do next.
- Explore that feeling using only adjectives. No sentences. Just adjectives. “When I feel angry, I feel________( Frustrated); When I feel frustrated I feel________(Helpless); When I feel helpless I feel________(Empty) ;When I feel empty, I feel _____(Sad). Ask: “Sad, what are you here to teach me?” Listen to what Sad has to say. “I am sad because you won’t listen to me. You know just what to do. You won’t honor yourself by doing what you REALLY want because you are afraid of what others will think.” Here is your best buddy giving you a truth about how you feel about yourself in it’s most honest and raw form, there for the taking. “Thank you Sad for showing up telling me the truth. I feel calmer, more relaxed. I can decide what I want to do now.”
- Negative belief into empowered action: Anger was covering up Sadness which let you know that you are denying who you are. No wonder you are angry! You transformed anger into empowerment by acknowledging your feelings. Now you can take steps toward doing what you love and be more at peace and feel more satisfied because you are not fighting with yourself.
- Breathe three times into that information so it can integrate into your body. Feel that sense of empowerment as you know can create a plan.
You see there is NOTHING TO FIX, just more of you to discover. You have an infinite resource within, your feelings, to guide you to what is your next best step. Take one step, one action toward what you discovered. And thank your new buddy, your feeling, for letting you know just what you need to do to live a more satisfying life.
Image credit: celila