Decisions, decisions, decisions…. Some of us are clear-cut, confident deciders while others hem and haw and find it tough to commit.
Not deciding is deciding, yet many think that if they can be nice and vague, then they can’t be wrong. They can wiggle out and casually say, “Oh, no I didn’t mean THAT, I meant …..” And then they get disappointed when that lack of decision making bites them in the ass.
Opportunities go by and regret fills in where delaying has caused loss: “The discount is over, sorry,” or “that house got sold yesterday.”
Making decisions is all about trusting you.
When you find yourself saying, “I can’t trust anyone,” what you’re saying is that the person who can’t be trusted is you, because you don’t trust your own ability to know what is best for you.
Yeah, yeah, I know you married the wrong guy/gal, you listened to your brother-in-law and bought the car that turned out to be a lemon, and looking back you think, “Man, I NEVER should have pulled those kids out of that school and moved.” So now, how can you make a decision? How can you trust yourself? The law of physics says if you don’t trust you, well, you can’t trust others.
To feel confident about making decisions and to begin to trust yourself, start with the small stuff. (It is all small stuff by the way.) This is going to seem silly, but this is how you will develop your emotional muscles to be a decider and not an “I don’t know what I want for dinner. Whatever you’re having…,” or an I-don’t-know-what-to-do procrastinator who misses out on life.
Answer these basic questions and notice where you hesitate and where you really don’t know.
The easy stuff: What do you like?
Favorite color? Why?
What you would wear everyday if had a choice?
Favorite food? Pick your favorite dish.
Top restaurant? What do you like about it?
Drink of choice at a restaurant, at home, on the road.
Flowers you want at your funeral. Why?
Vacation – top three spots. With whom? For how long?
If you had a couple of million What would you want?
Where would you live?
What would your day look like?
Who would you be with?
What would do be doing?
The hard stuff: Who are you?
What do you value about yourself? Name five qualities, no, not one, five.
What are your Talents, Abilities and Gifts? TAG yourselfTM
What contribution do make to your world?
To make decisions and to trust yourself, know yourself.
Start by looking at where you couldn’t answer these basic questions about you. Go back and take the time to get to know you. Make three conscious decisions today based on what YOU want for YOURSELF, what works for YOU. (Not from a selfish standpoint of I want, but from an intuitive knowing of who you are and what your real needs are.)
Let me know what you discovered. What was the hardest question to answer?