Getting a Handle on It
Whole Hearted…Worthiness…Not Good Enough…Shame…Fear…How can they all be related to Vulnerable? Brene Brown has studied Vulnerable and Shame for over a decade interviewing 1000s of people so that she could “get a handle on it.” At one point, the “getting a handle” was for her sake. She, like most of us, ran from vulnerable. Now, she embraces it. [See her TED.com Video]
Those that are willing to be vulnerable are whole hearted. They live from a place of worthiness. You might be wondering, “Well how do I get to feel worthy ? What does it take to feel worthy cause that sure ain’t where I am at right now!”
Brene found that it takes compassion for ourselves first. Imagine that, having compassion and acceptance for who we are as we are. What would it look like to not be so hard on yourself. Picture not having to be “just so,” like you were raised to believe was the only way to make it. I was brought up that way for sure! It is so limits on our self-expression.
Let the Chips Fall Where They May
To feel worthy takes courage, the courage to be imperfect. We all are after all, yet somehow we angst over wanting to not show we are real. How about allowing yourself to just BE. BE you and let the chips fall where they may.
What we all want is connection, genuine no holds barred connection that has meaning and significance. To do that we need to be authentic. For that, let go of who you think you ought to be, and be who you are. Man, is that a challenging one! Some days I literally I cannot discern the difference from being not me – just looking good or seeking to look good – and actually being the REAL me, just as I am…vulnerable in my not-perfectness. I find that I think I AM being real, only to discover that my feelings and the words coming out of my mouth don’t match, so by definition, that means I am NOT being real.
Birth Place of Joy
Turns out, Vulnerable is the birth place of love, joy , creativity, belonging. As we numb out to vulnerable , we loose access to these nourishing feelings in addition to gratitude, happiness, and satisfaction. As you stop controlling and predicting and instead allow you to just be YOU in the moment, to invest in relationships whether or not they work out, let go who you think you ought to be and be willing to say , “I love you” first to yourself and then to others, you will live a whole hearted life feeling satisfied, fulfilled, and supported. You will be supporting you.
Turns out Vulnerable is our best friend. Look at all vulnerable holds for us. It awakens us to real connection, compassion, courage, worthiness, sense of belonging and authenticity.
How about you? What comes for you as you consider Vulnerability? Share on Facebook, comment below.