Back in the Good old Days, our understanding of Love was influenced by songs like “You’re Nobody til Somebody Loves You.” and that is true but in a surprising way.
As I continue to share a fresh perspective on Love, as Cupid gets closer and closer to shooting his Love-Potent-Arrow, I am going to sound like a broken record or shall I say, scratched CD. And that is the Good News. That arrow is pointed at You because that Somebody Loves thing is YOU Loving YOU.
Honor and Value Your TAGs
Remember from last week….Honoring and valuing your Talents, Abilities and Gifts (TAGs) is how you learn to Love Yourself. In honoring and valuing the very essence of yourself – your TAGs- you can’t but attract Love to you. That Somebody will be someone who is honoring and valuing themselves! That’s how the Universe works. How Cool it THAT!
Love is Seeing What is Precious in You
What is Love? Love is seeing what is precious in you. Rather than looking outside of you to have someone love you, it is appreciating your TAGs, having gratitude for who you are, as you are.
There is Nothing to Fix.
Just More of You to Discover.
Unknowingly, you may have used Love to avoid what you are afraid of – being alone, insecure, revealing who we are. Love, or your image of what love is supposed to be, becomes your insurance policy to feel “safe.” As you are constantly on guard to control your fear at all costs by focusing on having someone, sometimes anyone, Love you, you actually rob yourself of the experience of you.
What You Resists Persists
You can fight Loving You and resist Loving You and protest Loving You as long as you like. But until you allow yourself pay homage to your core identity, the essence of who you are (TAGs), well, your subconscious has no reference point to go from to Love another or to experience Love from another. It is like dropping you in a life boat in the middle of the Pacific Ocean with a set of oars and saying, “Ok, Head for shore!” You have no reference point to go from nor to. You row in circles and get angry, flailing your oars around and slapping the water in a rage wanting the safety and security of shore, knowing you ought to know which way to go but have no reference point to go from. With no reference point, when a pirate ship filled with blokes comes by, you might just desperately grab hold saying, “Well, not perfect but I’ll take it! Somebody Loves me! and I don’t have to feel my aloneness, my insecurity, my fear of stepping into my power.”
Be Genuine with Yourself
When you are genuine with yourself and give to yourself, then you can see the beauty of the other from your new reference point. “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.” Why? The amount of beauty we see in others is in direct proportion to the amount of beauty we see in ourselves. As you fall in Love with you, you will no longer feel alone – you will have you; you will no longer feel insecure you will be confident and secure in who you are; you will no longer be afraid to expose the inner you, you will relish sharing who you are. You will fill yourself with you by birthing your creative abilities, expressing them with your talent and sharing your gift with the world. Rather than seeing others as a life-line to keep you safe from your fear of who you are afraid you are, Loving another will come from the richness of who you are as you see the wealth of who they are. “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.”
True Love Resides in Loving You
As your Valentine’s present to yourself, pick one ability (God given , natural ability that you were born with) and between now and Valentine’s Day, explore it, develop it, give birth to your creative potential. The subconscious mind responds when you appreciate yourself. It finds it delicious and responds by giving you more of what you desire. The subconscious “drives the bus.” It is there that dreams are born and realized. It is there that True Love resides in you Loving You.*
* Based on my work with Luis A Garcia , Love, like so many concepts, is simple and yet profound in its simplicity.