Self-love. What is that all about anyway? What would it really look like and how do I find it. Each of us has had someone say to them as some point along the way, “If you would just love yourself, you would have it all.” You might respond, “Great. Got it! I have been chasing that for years. Some moments I find it and loose it just as quickly. How do I sustain it and really feel that appreciation for myself? ”
Win the Prize
Most of us have been raised to value what the environment values as worthy of praise and applause. We have been promised the “prize” of a happy life, good money and sustained marriage IF, and only IF, we would do it “their” way. They could be parents or society, or an organization. What ever the influence, we judge ourselves from the outside in rather than appreciating ourselves from the inside out.
The if…THEN of Self-Love
If…(whatever the achievement – client sells their house, have the BMW, children are happy, write the book, get the promotion, mother/father says ,”I love you”) THEN I”ll Love Myself. With this we are relying on the environment to let us know when are Good Enough, Lovable. No matter how many kudos we receive, have you noticed, it is never quite enough to fill that hole of emptiness and doubt.
This Moment of Self-Love
Self-love is all about honoring and valuing the very essence of who you are– your Talents, Abilities and Gifts (TAGs). There is no other way to fill the holes that life creates than to fill yourself up with you. The you I am talking about is the expression of the Talent you have for _________ (singing, organizing, cooking, painting, teaching, writing…) that expresses your Ability to be ____________(creativity, analytical, inventive, have a sense of color, imagination, empathy…) that delivers your Gift of _______(an inspiring song, successful event, delightful meal, eye catching canvas, happy children, lyrical poem…) to the world. As you value each aspect of who you are and honor the gift you give the world, you will, little by little, begin to fill those holes with you. Knowing how Talented, Able and Gifted you are, you can’t help but love yourself.
There is nothing to fix. Just more of you to discover.
Photo Credit The Edible Goddess